Sunday, September 5, 2010

When I die, please bury me in Seattle

Hooman really loves me. Sometimes when she is cuddling with me, she will say, "Abbie, when I die, I want to be buried with you."  Sounds sweet, right? Howl no! That is called "Mutually Assured Destruction."  It doesn't take one and half hooman brains to figure out that my hooman is crazy as howl.

And quite honestly, I don't want to spend eternity in a box with HER anyway. She has bad breath in the morning. Yea, I said it.

Anyway, when I die, I want to be buried in or near 3207 California Ave SW, Seattle, Washington.

It is my heaven.

Some view Heaven as a place with mansions and gold streets.

Some view Heaven as the ultimate eternal nap complete with soft music and fluffy pillows.

My heaven will have one thing and one thing only, BACON!!!!

And someone wiser and more profound in theory has made my dream of BACON HEAVEN a reality.

See hoomans, when dogs die, all dogs go to Heaven. Don't believe me, have you not watched the documentary, ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN? Geez... anyway,

while you hoomans debate on what heaven is, my prophecy of eternal bliss has been fulfilled...

in the form of

It is where I can lay down the burdens of everyday life and just feel the love and comfort of a covenant so powerful and fulfilled, that those who dare speak ill of it will be struck by lightening!!!

Please do not dare commit my earthly remains to the Coon Dog Cemetary.  I know my pal, Judy, speaks volumes of it...

but hooman please, if there is one bit of happiness that you would want for me, your beloved Basket Hound, it shall be always and forever... within sniffing distance of The Swinery. 

There, I said it. Now go in Peace to love and serve the Lord. Amen!

And, please lay me down for eternity near the heavenly place of meat candy. 

I've already picked out a box and I'm ready to go...