Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Where have I been?

Well, it's true. I have been MIA in the blogging scene for a while.

Let me explain. It's all the hooman's fault.

She has been blah blah blah blah blah. Oh, who cares. She has just been lacking in the secretarial department for me. I would fire her but since we live together and all, I have tried to be patient with her.

See, my world has been turned upside down lately people.

For starters, hooman and the old man RIPPED UP MY CARPET!! Do you people realize that was the ultimate back scratcher for me?

They placed hardwood floors which means I have been taking unforeseen, uninvited, and uncomfortable ice skating lessons across the house. If I slide one more time into the foot of the bed, serious bassety repercussions will take place.

I am still not fully recovered from the CHAIR INCIDENT  of 2009.

Then Summer Heat Wave '10 hit. I don't care if you are hound or hooman, this heat wave has been killer.  And the hooman expects me to go out and take care of business, regardless of the temperature. I mean, flies start following my butt the moment I walk out.  That was probably too much information. It's hot, hounds.

And don't even think for one second I can get away with a little accident. NOOOOOO, Mr. Hardwood is not like Mr. Carpet. Mr. Hardwood tells on me immediately and hooman freaks out.  Which brings me to my newest enemy, Mr. Swiffer Mop.  Just the thought of squatting gives me more guilt than a Catholic before confession.

But the ultimate insult of the year was when the hooman did not take me to BARKWORLD in Atlanta. Do you now how excited I was to go? Do you know disappointed I am to not have gone?

Life for me has been so dadgum boring lately I almost made friends with the possum. Almost!

But I am back. Let's see if my hooman can get it together. In the meanwhile,  did I mention I won 3rd place in the Annual Basset Hound Bash Wiener Toss?