Monday, February 22, 2010

I demand an endorsement fee...

Once again my human is pimpin' me out to the public. Don't say I blame her, heck I know cute when I see it and bacon...errrr  I mean I am cute.

Check out her latest pimpin' project.

I think you hounds need to hear my side of the story.

First of all,  this is MY HOUSE... MY HOUSE.  I say who can come in and who can clean up after ME!!!  This huge Ninja thingie came in MY HOUSE and literally SUCKED!!!!  I mean really SUCKED up my pet hair, my food spills, and my...ummmmm...proclivities.

It was terrible. I mean, I'm a hound dog and I could not even track MY OWN scent! It smelled like fruit in here. It was too clean. I thought I was at some other hounds house... or even a *gasp* cat's house. It was not like MY house!!! When I was "allowed" to come back in the house, the human actually placed towels in front of the back door. WHAT? HUMAN, you NEVER had a problem with me coming in from the backyard with muddy paws before. Ridiculous.

Oh, and here is the biggie... I GET the blame for the geratric animals.  Ummm, excuse me...but Princess Geritol, who SHEDS worse than I do has the geratric bladder-NOT ME. I don't care if you never see it, I'm just sayin' that she is the OLD one, not me.

Oh, and then there is Phyllis Diller, I mean, Phoebe the Beady Eyed One! She is not so innocent. I guarantee that she sheds and pees when you are not looking. I can't prove it but I will ONE DAY, then you will see that I am the innocent one here, I am not the criminal,  I'M THE VICTIM!

So, human, bring in your Happy Feet Magician and his fancy Ninja 7 Million, I don't care. I have plans of mine own. I need some happy paws.

In the meanwhile, take these goofy shoes off of Beady Eyes, she looks stupid.