Monday, February 1, 2010

NO potty mouth, please...

My human had an epiphany over a month ago. She decided that if she or others HAD to use vulgarity or profanity to express themselves, she or they had little to say in terms of intelligent comment. I don't blame her, I mean to refer to me as a (b) itch would be lingustically correct, however to refer to herself or her friends in that manner would be just... not nice, self depreciating, and something that would make her 95 year old grandmother shame her. So she made a resolution to not go "there" in terms of profanity.  I appreciate that. Kinda.

But she has really gotten carried away with the whole anti-potty mouth campaign around the house. Little did I know that this included the potty.  I mean really, the real, get me some water now white water goddess that sits and waits for me to indulge myself is now, off limits.   I honestly have no problem if human slips up and says an explicit when she nails her fingers on the wall or stumps her toe in the door facing, but to completely ban potty mouth has totally stepped over in my territory. This means I no longer have access to the porcelain bowl of aqua. Nope.  I literally have to hunt her down if my stainless steel water bowl appears to be even in the least bit set on the low flow option. I have little patience for this. It's not bad enough that geriatric Princess Geritol consumed the entire bowl in one huge, messy slurp but then Beady Eyes subjects her furry little beast like head into the side with nary a gulp, and the water is gone.

So, I am in quite the dismay over the banned potty mouth and lack of sufficient hydration necessary to keep me up and howling at 3:00am for my romp around the backyard.

Really, human...I'm watching you and one slip up of the potty mouth ban and it's game over for you and your oral moral cause.